I am a terrible blogger. I always want to start one and be awesome like
The boys are now 14 months old. I am not an expert by ANY means but have several first pregnant friends/family members and want to share what I can....
so I present: 14 things I have learned in 14 months of being a mom:
1. You WILL SLEEP AGAIN
It may not be until 11 months, or 4 years old or until they are teenagers but sometimes they will sleep through the night and it.is.glorious. You may only sleep when you take 45 high schoolers to GA Thespian Conference or in short naps but there will be sleep. Hold on.
2. It takes a village (literally)
You do not know what the heck you are doing. Don't be prideful about it. Ask your mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, step mother, other mommy friends or Google it. It is okay to ask for help. Even if help is asking your superstar husband to comb you hair in the hospital. Just because you gave birth doesn't mean you have to continue to be superwoman. This is a HARD job. You cannot do it alone.
3. Find a Church.
(related to it taking a village)
Or a commune or a coffee house- somewhere where your children will be raised and nurtured in love and in a place where they will be taught values. We both went "astray" so to speak in college but having kids makes you change your train of thought. Every Sunday I look around and thank God that we are raising our sons in such a wonderful place with people that will pray for them, lift them up when they need it and be understanding. Find people who are going to be an extended family for them. Make sure they are good people. People who will cheer when they start to try walking and notice that they have a new tooth or new shoes. It is invaluable.
4. A good diaper bag is worth it.
I've had 4. I finally settled on Lily Jade. Was it expensive? Hells YEAH! But worth.every.penny. And I am a teacher. I also liked my Skip Hop Duo bags.
We used the Daddy Diaper Bag for a while but I wanted something cute that would last me well into toddler/middle school world. Lily Jade is stylish and super organized...and just freaking adorable!
5. Date your spouse.
Hello! Hi! Remember that guy before he was dad? DATE HIM. He is sexier, funnier, more intelligent than ever and he is SO in love with you. And you love him so much more that he is the father of your children. TALK to him. Date him. Tell him you love him. If you are lucky like we are you will have people beating down the doors to babysit. TAKE ADVANTAGE. Date nights can also be sitting in the living room watching Shonda Rhimes and talking about how much you love your kids (while drinking wine or gin of course)
ENJOY IT.
6. Invest in more Cloud Storage.
Who uses cameras? If you don't want a mega iPhone (or whatever)....suck it up and pay the whatever a year. You will take pictures and videos all the time. Dropbox and GoogleDrive are amazing too!
7. Breastfeeding is beautiful is difficult SUCKS.
It is not easy. It is not fun. I never liked it. I did it for 10 months of my twins life. I mainly pumped. Fletcher never nursed. I tried and failed. He hated it. I had an oversupply and the according to the La Leche League "Breastfeeding from an over supply is like trying to drink water from a fire hose on full force" (basically what their book says). Ok. Great. Tell a first time mom that she is basically torturing her son when he tried to nurse. ALL of their solutions are basically to sit their all day and either pump or let your baby nurse. I have twins. Not possible. I remember the lactation consultant in the hospital saying if she had a baby resisting as much as Fletcher she would probably give him a bottle too. So there we were. I never liked it. I did it because it was what was best for my babies. Sure I loved the snuggle time with the babies but I got the same snuggle when I bottle fed them. And they are both healthy. If we have more kids will I breastfeed? Probably but I at least know now that it isn't this magical beautiful thing I had thought up in my head. It may be for you but it wasn't for me.
8. Enjoy the silence.
In the first few months when those suckers are sleeping FOREVER....LIVE IT UP. Meditate- read. Enjoy it. Drink it in. Soon they will be mobile and talking and you can only think on your 45 minute commute to work. Or SLEEP. Sleep. and enjoy the silence
9. Invest in a NEW WASHER AND DRYER
(and TV)
We got our tax return and UPGRADED when I was pregnant. We do cloth diapers so it was important but also...you do a lot of baby laundry regardless. We had my stepdad's washer and dryer from the military and were OLD. We knew our laundry loads would grow exponentially just with two baby's daily laundry and doing cloth diapers.
exhibit A of daily baby mess.
10. When in the hospital- DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF A GOOD NURSE.
I still pray for and think of Vicki. She was so helpful in the early days. Made me feel good, snuck us extra pacifiers, nose suckers and formula when breastfeeding wasn't working. She also helped delay our exit because we were scared to go home. I need to get off my lacy butt and take her a present. Nurses are angels. Thank yours.
11. Also in the hospital- TRUST THE DOCTORS.
I know people have horror stories. I was blessed with great doctors but TRUST THEM. Hopefully you've been seeing them your whole pregnancy and if you don't trust them FIND A NEW ONE. If you don't feel like they are respecting your beliefs- FIND A NEW ONE. I love Heritage OBGYN (where I go) and they were great for me. Some people don't like them. My doctors led me down the path safest for me and for my babies.
12. Find a good pediatrician.
We go to an office that has two locations. Our first appointment was terrible. There we were with our two day old baby (Fletcher)- I didn't have a pump at home and was having issues nursing. Finley was still in the hospital and our appointment time was near his 12:00 feeding so I figured I would pump at the hospital and then feed the twins together. We waited ONE HOUR past our appointment time, missed Finley's feeding and then the doctor just talked to me about how I could improve breastfeeding which wasn't helping my stress over that. I have never seen Brandon so steamed. When we go to the hospital we had to make Finley's discharge appointment and decided to give the practice another shot but at a different location. We found Dr. Bailey who is the BOMB.COM. He is no nonsense and gives us his real opinion and I am so thankful for him.
13. Kiss your babies and tell them you love them every day (and husband/partner).
This is easy but you never know when life will take it away. Don't let the stress take it out of you. Cherish it.
14. Don't Blink.
They will graduate High School tomorrow.
