Monday, January 25, 2016

On the bandwagon.....

Being a parent changes you.
It shifts your whole perspective....
people tell you this.
You think 
"ok...I know".
But you don't know.
One little thing and your mind turns into a tornado of concerns of life and the world and the future and what society is doing to us and would I feel this way if I had daughters and what is really going to happen with this election and is the laundry still going and
(EXPLOSION)
.....
"Maemae- where's Thomas"
Back to reality.
Finish brushing teeth- diaper- lotion- night night.
Think more.


Tonight's one little thing was this

my son requesting to put my make up on.
In the exact order I do
primer (on his belly)
tinted moisturizer
powder
eye shadow.

I obliged because he is literally an angel.
I mean

look at that eye shadow covered forehead.
GORGEOUS RIGHT?

I give no Fs if my boys decide to wear make up or paint their nails or play football or vote for trump ;)

I just want them to be happy people.
Who care about others.
And love themselves.

But the way Fletcher looked at himself after he put make up on broke my heart.
He looked at himself like
"yes. now I look good"
If I had a daughter I would probably be doubley upset.

He learned that look of self satisfaction after make up from someone.
He learned it from me.
(explosion)
What kind of men am I raising?
Men who expect women to fulfill a standard?
Why do I feel like I have to look an certain way when I want them to grow up in a world where it doesn't matter?

((I mean....
I went to a women's college))

So I am going to slowly ditch my make up (I mean I will keep it around because who doesn't love some glitter and a smoky eye). But I want my boys to grow up loving a woman who is flawed and tries her best to be what God intended her to be.

So that one day they will find and love someone who loves them for their flaws (and vice versa) so they will truly love themselves. And then turn that love back to God.

We are not perfect.
But we are perfect in his sight.

So I am jumping on the no make up bandwagon.
For myself.
For my boys.
And for their future partners.
(and cause I like saving money)






Saturday, January 16, 2016

"Momming" Out........or how I am still a dirty rotten feminist.

I am a nerd.
I mean....really.
I love obsessing over and researching things.
I am currently reading/listening and watching three different Harry Potters with the same passion I had when I first encountered them.
I will also go down an internet wormhole in 2.5 seconds flat if a tv show (and by tv show I mean Criminal Minds) says something I don't know a lot about. 

So....."momming' out for me is the same as nerding out but mom stuff.
It started simple enough.
My mom sends me a video of Finley throwing a ball which basically makes me think he will be a MLB pitcher (cause I mean my kid is so talented and perfect).
So I text my old baseball student and ask when we can start little league.
Because I am now that mom.
I find out little league is possible at age 3 where I live.
SCORE! 
The boys will be hitting balls with sticks Easter 2017.
but then.
I remember I am a fine arts person.
I don't know anything about sports.
But. Ok. I want my kids to be well rounded.

I start bugging my old students about dance.
I find promising 3 year old classes for fall 2016.
Then I look at the dress code..................
.....................................
......................................................
....................................................................................

one school totally has a male dress code...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

the other acts as if only girls will come with "bows" and "leopard print" .


rage fills me.
the rage that would fill me in college when my sorority sisters and I would be debating things and raging against the man and the machine.
FIRST 
I am mad that my sons are being discriminated against because dance is a "girls thing". What is their dresscode? If I try to put a bow in Finley's hair he will bite me. Fletch would be cool.
I go into anger for my boys that may love dance or girly things. I want them to be whoever they are and for the world to hold them in their arms and love them 
LIKE JESUS DOES.

THEN 
I am mad that women are held to specific roles. 
Because it is a mans world.
But how am I supposed to raise feminists when they are expected to only wear blue and throw balls?
When it is weird that Fin wants the pink cup?
When it is weird that Fletcher wants to put on make up like his mom?
Why is it weird when a girl wants to play with trains?
Why do we have these stereotypes?
WHY DID I THINK TO SIGN THEM UP FOR BASEBALL FIRST?
Why can't the girls wear a t-shirt and black jazz pants and the boys wear a leotard and pink tights?
Why are women still letting their husbands tell them how to vote?


?



And I have no answers. 
The only answer I have is to make my children try everything.
And then to encourage them to pursue what they love and makes them happy.
No. Matter. What. 
Like- if you love math....cool.....
if you love boys............cool........
if you love girls..............cool.....

Just be happy.
Be a good person.
Love others.
(but please dont vote for trump)
ok...I side tracked a little
I just want them to grow up in a place where they can be nerds, or jocks, or queers or whatever and still
feel 
loved.

Not just by their mom.