Sunday, March 20, 2016

Words

“Words," he said, "is oh such a twitch-tickling problem to me all my life.” 
Roald Dahl, the BFG. 

The BFG was the first book I read that captured me as a child. It activated my imagination in ways I had never experienced. It was the first book I loved.

I have always loved the BFG. I never quite understood his issue with words but I found it amusing.
Words have always been something I have known as a friend. A companion. 
I am usually quite good with them. 
But this month I just haven't known what to say.
My high school drama teacher passed away surrounded by her amazing family.
She is no longer in pain.
I know she is in a better place....
but I haven't known what to say to her kids.
Not just her students.
But to her biological children who are my family-
who I know are feeling this pain in ways I will never comprehend.
And I don't know what to say.

It is the worst.
Anything I can think of seems cliche or nothing close to comfort.
All I can do is pray.
Then I stumbled upon this from "Accidental Saints"
which is my Lent Book.....

"In times when we have no words, when we don't know what to think because we are feeling too many things all at once, there is always the liturgy, the words of God's people that have rung through the millennia and that can speak on our behalf- words we can borrow for ourselves"

I believe the gospel extends beyond the Bible. Why would God create us to be so creative if those words aren't meant to be as comforting....so  I take comfort in the soothing songs of Rent, Hamilton, and Harry Potter.

I don't know what else to say....I leave you with this from HP.

"You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don’t recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble..."










Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Why Theatre?

I am a high school drama teacher by day.....
twin mom by night.....
this is an essay I wrote about last fall about my amazing theatre teacher.
March is going to be all about Theatre.
Specifically theatre in our schools.

Here is my story :
              It is hard to write about Gail Jones without using a cheesy musical quote. Talking about the woman who set my life on a path that has “changed me for good” goes hand and hand with the art form that brought her into my life. When I was in the 10th grade my life at home was a living hell. My mother and step father were constantly fighting and the level of tension led me to find any way to escape that environment. I would pull the classic “I’m staying with Jessica” and Jessica would be staying with me and off we would go to a party.
              Then I was cast as Mme Thenardier in Les Miserables. And Gail Jones set the expectation of me to get myself straight and to commit to something productive. I don’t know if she knows to this day that that saved my life. I was surrounded by supportive misfits who became my family. She would stay after school with me so I didn’t have to go home before rehearsal. She placed the responsibility of working on the set, learning my music and creating a character that turned all of my anger and sadness into the laughter of the audience. I specifically remember looking up into the lighting booth on opening night and seeing her smiling face covered in proud tears.
              At that point in time, Gail was the only adult in my life that made me feel like I was worth something. That I could accomplish something and that I had talents. She helped me to find my passion. Years later, when I was beginning to teach high school drama myself she became a rock of support and belief once again. She helped me navigate the terrifying waters of classroom management, production and balancing family time.
              When I was pregnant and Gail told me she was retiring, when I asked if she would be my long term substitute she agreed. She gave up her first 12 weeks of retirement for a former student which I believe shows how big this woman’s heart is. Anyone else would’ve been sipping cocktails on the Hawaiian coast.

Often, I see 10th grade Mallory in the faces of my students. When I become frustrated I try to remember who I was and how important Gail believing in me was. I remember how important her loving me was. I try to remember her big heart in those moments of frustration and know that this will make me a better teacher. I hope she is still proud of me. I know I am so proud to say I know her.