Adventure to Santa? or a journey through Hell?

So....as parents there are thing we feel we must do. 

One of these things for me this year was to go to the mall and get Santa pictures.

Mr. Boo's school has a GREAT Santa at their annual Christmas at the Creek but you can't access the pictures digitally. This was important to me because we are a techie family. 

We are on Thanksgiving Break (praise) and were planning a trip to North Point Mall for errands and I figured "kill two birds with one stone". 

I went online to their website and found this:

"North Point Mall and Dream Works Animation take guests on a never-before-seen, magical experience with Adventure to Santa. Join Shrek and his friends as they take you on an interactive journey to find Santa at the North Pole.

ONCE YOUR JOURNEY IS COMPLETE, YOU’LL VISIT WITH SANTA AND POSE FOR A KEEPSAKE PHOTO OF YOUR UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE!

This 15-minute adventure is a must-do for the entire family and does not require waiting in line! Reserve your spot todayNorth Point Mall and Dream Works Animation take guests on a never-before-seen, magical experience with Adventure to Santa. Join Shrek and his friends as they take you on an interactive journey to find Santa at the North Pole.

ONCE YOUR JOURNEY IS COMPLETE, YOU’LL VISIT WITH SANTA AND POSE FOR A KEEPSAKE PHOTO OF YOUR UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE!

This 15-minute adventure is a must-do for the entire family and does not require waiting in line! Reserve your spot today"

SOLD.

I love Shrek.

I love making reservations.

I hate waiting in line.

Well... we hit a few snags right off. 

There were no reservation times showing up online until 8:30 pm but I read/researched further (because I think I am Penelope Garcia) and saw you could get without a reservation.

We planned to arrive at the mall when it opened (Disney trips have trained us) to make sure we got in first. 

LIES.

When we got to the counter we had to make a reservation for later....1:42pm. This wasn't awful. We were running late as usual so it was 10:30. We figured we'd do all our errands first, go to lunch, drive so babies could nap and then return refreshed and ready to go at 1:42pm.

We did. We basically had a blast! We rented a stroller in the mall, went to Target, went to On the Border all with relatively few melt downs. Which is a feat. I mean look at these joyous faces in the fire truck stroller:

This nearly worked. 

Until we returned to Santa Shrek Hell Land.

This is its new name. I try not to be negative but....wow.

We got there before our reservation time. Then I had to wait in line at the RESERVATION desk to get our passport. This took what seemed like 500 million hours. Fletcher was screaming and searching for something. Meanwhile this place is right underneath a sun roof where the sun was beating down on use baking us like cookies in an oven. So we get our passport and then are directed to an area where we are supposed to take a picture with a Shrek statue. We wait. As we are about to hand our passport to the lady a family cuts us off to take their Shrek picture. We decide this is stupid and head over to the other line. We are scanned in and admitted into the line. Fletcher is still crying like he is being baked from the inside out. Finley is crawling all over everything and trying to eat the Christmas tree. 

 Finley has never met a stranger

 why are you making me sit here?

pick me up!

So that took forever.
Then we finally make it in.
Brandon said "I bet we are going to go into smaller and smaller rooms"

Truth.
We enter a room with a terrible actress and the family that cut us off earlier.
She goes through this dog and pony show about how Santa is missing!
Then Shrek and Donkey appear and say we are going to go to the North Pole to find Santa.

So first we are led into a room where we have to design a sleigh on an iPad.
That is wonderful with 15 month olds.

THEN....it gets better....
we enter a room with a SLEIGH!
Which is a virtual reality sleigh ride.
Picture a really bad IMAX.
With vibrations
and water squirting on you.
Fletcher was TERRIFIED.
Finley thought it was great.

Then we go into a room with 6 iPads and four families.
You get to play a snowball throwing game while you wait to FINALLY FINALLY see Santa.
This is difficult with toddlers. Especially a toddler who loves pretty girls and touching them.
Sorry ladies, Finley means well.

Fletcher was basically a burnt cookie by this point.

So they call our name!
We see Santa.
Fletcher is a sweaty sad mess.
Finley is okay. A little out of it.

I actually love all the pictures.


But getting the pictures was another nightmare.
We finally make it out of that dang place and they tell us the dreaded
"It will be a few minutes".
We stood around forever waiting for someone to tell us our pictures were ready.
This never happened.
I had to be pushy (I hate being pushy). And we got our prints and our digital download code and then got the HELL OUT OF DODGE.

With some great pictures....and some not so great memories.

But we'll never get this time back- right?!?

In short- don't believe everything you read....especially this:

This 15-minute adventure is a must-do for the entire family and does not require waiting in line! 

because basically.....multiple lines and waiting are worse than one line.

One of our many  rookie mistakes of parenting.

"The First Six Months Are The Hardest"

You get a ton of unsolicited advice when you are pregnant. 

Especially when it is twins...twin mamas and people who are connected with twins come out of the woodwork to help you.

The one piece of advice I clung desperately to was

"The first six months are the hardest" 

or the variation....

"If you can survive the first six months..."

Well.....

I thought I had made it through the wilderness so to speak. 

The first year was difficult but not as hard as I thought it would be.

Basically feeling like super mom.

And then 15 months hit.

Like a tornado.

A big, crying, tantrum throwing, WALKING (only one of them), talking, biting, yelling, kissing, waving tornado. 

This is all in the midst of an insanely busy month of work.

One act, a big ole musical 

and then one act again. 

Plus Mr. Boo is in a musical himself so our family dinners sound more like production meetings or calendar meetings. 

But I digress....

 the first six months were basically a walk in the park.

Sure, for the first three months we were waking up every three hours and feeding them but we were also on maternity leave for 8 of those weeks. 

A BREEZE.

Sometimes I just want to sleep forever and never wash another load of laundry or teach another class. Just nap forever. 

Or run away to Neverland.

Sometimes the Mom Guilt is so overwhelming I don't know what to do
(more on this later).
Sometimes when people say "I don't know how you do it" I want to burst into tears and say 

"I don't either".

Sometimes it feels like I am being held together by old fishing line. 

But then....

I see Finley walk to communion for the first time guided only by his daddy (not holding his hand).

I see Fletcher cover his eyes with his hands and wait to play peek a boo and laugh when it happens.

I see them hug each other. 

I hear them singing and talking to each other before bed. 

I see the people at our church embrace them and talk to them like people.

I hear "uh oh" as they drop their cups for the millionth time and even though it is the MILLIONTH time it is still so freaking adorable. 

They call me "ma". And kiss me 

And my heart is filled.

And all that other self pity tired crap goes away.

Because this is true love. 

And it is worth it.

And someday I will sleep again. I will be able to be amazing like my family and babysit for my grandchildren so they can get a break. 

I guess really what I am trying to say is....don't cling to advice....take it but don't hope it is the answer.....except for maybe this because it is so true:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8