Before kids....panic is running 5 minutes late.
Panic is oversleeping from the alarm, not knowing what you want to order when the waiter or waitress asks, or Target not having your size.
After kids...
it is the panic that they haven't rolled over/scooted/grown a tooth/smiled/pooped today
or slept too much or two little.
Then Finley's eyes go in two totally different directions one Monday before work.
You can't breathe.
You try to avoid Google.
You Google.
You WebMD.
It is either nothing or death.
You read enough to convince yourself that it will be okay.
Christmas happens.
No issues.
Then one night his eyes roll back into his head and then go into two different directions.
You avoid Google.
You Google.
You WebMD.
You post in a Facebook group while you hate yourself.
You decide to call the pediatrician.
Then next day your pediatrician says "Y'all have the worse luck".
You are going to be referred to a neurologist or an ophthalmologist.
You try not to freak out.
You sort of do.
YOU ARE PANICKED.
You don't want to be because there are people out there with REAL PROBLEMS.
Their children won't ever walk.
You don't have the right to panic.
But you do.
Then....you go to the referral appointment. And you try not to act like a crazy.
Then finally...after dilation and crying and wrestling....
it is a 100% treatable problem.
And you feel like an idiot for panicking.
But it is your baby.
And I guess that is what being a mom is?
