I am a nerd.
I mean....really.
I love obsessing over and researching things.
I am currently reading/listening and watching three different Harry Potters with the same passion I had when I first encountered them.
I will also go down an internet wormhole in 2.5 seconds flat if a tv show (and by tv show I mean Criminal Minds) says something I don't know a lot about.
So....."momming' out for me is the same as nerding out but mom stuff.
It started simple enough.
My mom sends me a video of Finley throwing a ball which basically makes me think he will be a MLB pitcher (cause I mean my kid is so talented and perfect).
So I text my old baseball student and ask when we can start little league.
Because I am now that mom.
I find out little league is possible at age 3 where I live.
SCORE!
The boys will be hitting balls with sticks Easter 2017.
but then.
I remember I am a fine arts person.
I don't know anything about sports.
But. Ok. I want my kids to be well rounded.
I start bugging my old students about dance.
I find promising 3 year old classes for fall 2016.
Then I look at the dress code..................
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one school totally has a male dress code...................................................................................................................................................................................................................
the other acts as if only girls will come with "bows" and "leopard print" .
rage fills me.
the rage that would fill me in college when my sorority sisters and I would be debating things and raging against the man and the machine.
FIRST
I am mad that my sons are being discriminated against because dance is a "girls thing". What is their dresscode? If I try to put a bow in Finley's hair he will bite me. Fletch would be cool.
I go into anger for my boys that may love dance or girly things. I want them to be whoever they are and for the world to hold them in their arms and love them
LIKE JESUS DOES.
THEN
I am mad that women are held to specific roles.
Because it is a mans world.
But how am I supposed to raise feminists when they are expected to only wear blue and throw balls?
When it is weird that Fin wants the pink cup?
When it is weird that Fletcher wants to put on make up like his mom?
Why is it weird when a girl wants to play with trains?
Why do we have these stereotypes?
WHY DID I THINK TO SIGN THEM UP FOR BASEBALL FIRST?
Why can't the girls wear a t-shirt and black jazz pants and the boys wear a leotard and pink tights?
Why are women still letting their husbands tell them how to vote?
?
And I have no answers.
The only answer I have is to make my children try everything.
And then to encourage them to pursue what they love and makes them happy.
No. Matter. What.
Like- if you love math....cool.....
if you love boys............cool........
if you love girls..............cool.....
Just be happy.
Be a good person.
Love others.
(but please dont vote for trump)
ok...I side tracked a little
I just want them to grow up in a place where they can be nerds, or jocks, or queers or whatever and still
feel
loved.
Not just by their mom.
That's a good place to start. Keep growing with them.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain Mallory. My son loved to go his (girl) friends for play dates so he could play with their toys. I was so proud when my mother got him a doll, and his Texan grandmother got him a swimming Barbie he coveted for Christmas. As he got older he realized he would be made fun of these preferences and it was so painful for both of us.The world is changing, but much slower in most places in rural Georgia. This month I think we should all ask: What Would David Bowie Do? And know that God will work it out.
ReplyDeleteEveryone loves pretty things (and glitter), not just girls. Connor grew up with Amelia, and spent almost all of his toddler-hood wearing bows in his hair, glittery hand-me-down unitards and took to makeup very early (granted, it was for stage and it had a pretty garish hand with it, but . . ) Because his godmother was a dance teacher, he started ballet at 3. He was the only boy there, and EVERY girl in the school knew his name and would flock around him when he arrived. From this, he learned that he was welcome and adored; he still assumes this is true whenever he enters a public place. ;-) I was always in love with his oddballisms, and believe that loving them, welcoming them, appreciating their expressions of self has helped to make both my children whole and happy and compassionate adults. Keep believing in yourself, mother of sons: you're a good mama.
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